My book

This is what my book looks like right now. 111 pages, 46,313 words, 14 chapters. There's still a bit to go. I think I'm going to need around 60,000 words to finish it, meaning I'm about 70% done. I started this book last year for NANOWRIMO in November.

I've heard on average, it takes about a year to write a book, so at least I'm on track with everyone else.
It's interesting to go back and read portions I wrote months ago. I love that I can see my character changing. Obviously, she's based on me to an extent so it's been a challenge to move her into areas that I might not be comfortable in myself. I've put her in situations that I've never been in, so it's funny to see what 'she' does with them. I've had an interesting time watching my characters do things that even I didn't expect.

It's been a challenge in thinking on a large scale. Trying to keep each chapter interesting while still maintaing an arc to the story as a whole. I've had to create a cheat sheet to keep all my characters straight. In the beginning, I jumped around, writing whatever portion struck me at the time. So recently I've been piecing everything together, working to make it all make sense.

I've really enjoyed it. I'm terrible about finishing things, as this is technically my sixth attempt at writing a book (if you count the book about coping with divorce I started at age 12 and the demented murder mystery I started at 14). I still plan on writing two of the others, another fiction and a memoir of sorts (frankly, I hate calling it a memoir, that seems like I think I'm important or something).

And while it has been fun, (please ignore the pun) I'm really ready to move on to the next chapter. But finishing this is something I have to do, so I'm going to. (Ignore the fact that I'm currently avoiding it by writing this.) Either way, if it ends up I can't get an agent and sell it, I fully expect you guys to download a copy and pretend to read it!

Excerpt

I'm pretending to write a book. Pretending, in that, I say I'm doing it (actively) but really, all I'm doing is thinking about it (passively). Usually inspiration strikes me in chunks and I sit and write until I hit a wall or get too busy to give it any attention.

Sometimes, when I get back to it, I have to reread what I previously wrote. And oddly, I stumble upon portions that I don't even remember writing, like this one. My character's name is Kaitlyn. She works at an ad agency and lives alone. Her boyfriend is a jerk, she just hasn't figured it out yet. Don't worry, she will.

Probably my favorite thing about living here is that I’m alone. That I know several things when I put my key into the door. 1: That the door is, in fact, locked. 2: That the only shoes on the floor will be mine. And 3: I will not have the unfortunate experience of walking in on a certain someone and her boyfriend getting frisky on my couch. Yes, those things happened, the first two numerous times, the third thankfully only once. And I made her pay to have the couch cleaned. I think she was more upset about that than my viewing her tattooed bum. At least she was interesting.

But when it comes to roommates, I don’t like interesting. Interesting is fun to bump into in a bar on a random Saturday night. Interesting is not fun to live with on a daily basis. So I was grateful when I landed the job at Collins & Collins and could afford to move out. And, I think she was happy to be rid of the ‘prudish, quiet girl.’ Or at least that’s what her twitter stream said before I blocked her. People say that you shouldn’t live with your friends, that you might grow to hate and/or despise each other. I’m here to say that you should also avoid the girl in your quant class too. Just because you both need a roommate, go to the same school and work nearby does not mean you are compatible to share living quarters, more less a bathroom.

Don’t get me started on the bathroom. Let’s just say I’m not exactly proud of what I did to her shower radio or the means with which I had to go to do it. Desperate times and all.

I walk inside and smile. The only person greeting me is Presley, and while he’s not actually a person, he seems to think so, and who am I to take that away from him? 

Hopefully one day, I will finish this project. And then start on the other three books in my head. (Are you laughing? I am.)

Um, it's December. Weren't you writing a book?

Why yes, yes I was. Unfortunately I have a paying job writing and it kind of takes precedence over my time. (I know, I know, woe is me.) So, the first week of The Book was spent with nose diligently to the grind stone. I made my daily quotas no problem. The second week I slipped a bit, but could easily have made the time up. I didn't.

Here, let me show you how weeks three and four went:

No where. That's right. And then, on the last day apparently I was all, 'Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be writing a book!' and added a few more pages.
As of this writing (and probably for the next few days) I have 41 pages consisting of 17,508 words. Technically not too shabby for what was only two good weeks of writing. But still. I'm going to finish. AND, eventually I will finish that other book too. Yeah, the one I started during Nanowrimo last year. BUT, I have a thought. That first book, last years book is a better book. It's a more serious book. I think it would make a great second book. No sophomore slump here! (Are you laughing yet? You should be.)
And, since I'm on a roll. I have plans for my third book. See, while books 1 and 2 are inspired by my life, this one would actually BE my life. Specifically about some of the junk that I wrote about in my last blog post. I want to call it One Year because basically my life was a ridiculous roller coaster for almost exactly a year.

OK now, I see how absurd it sounds to have a plan to write three books when I can't even finish one. So don't bother telling me this. I am acutely aware of how I sound. That's why I need a plan to become independently wealthy. So that I can have time to write.

Could someone get on that? Thanks.

Going dark

OK guys, today is the first day of Nanowrimo. Yeah.
So, I'll be writing a book. Or at least that's what I'll be trying to do. Last year, I ended up not making the progress I had hoped. And by that I mean I totally quit and live in the illusion that I could spit out a novel during the last week. And of course came to my senses and did nothing.
But this year, I'm more determined. I'm more something. Either way I'm doing it. Not sure if I will finish but I'm going to try my damnedest. So, I might not be around here much for the month. Or, if I am, it might be quick posts. So don't expect much out of me.

The girl who cried 'wolf,' I mean 'book.'

So, I'm writing another book. Yes. another. And no, I didn't finish the first one. (Which technically was like the third one. But who's counting?) I'm not abandoning that one, I still want to finish it, and I have most of it worked out in my head.

But, it's Nanowrimo time again. The time where countless people all foolishly agree to write a book in one month. Basically the challenge is to write 50,000 words in one month. That's about six pages per day, or 175 pages total. The idea is not just about 'finishing' a book in one month, but just forcing you as a writer to no longer question yourself. You don't have time. And really, the experience itself is fun.
I tried it last year, and didn't get very far. This year, I have an idea. It's fun. It might require me to do some hilarious research (more about this later). And I already have a few pages started. What little bit I did get done last year was interesting. I wrote a chapter until I couldn't think of any more and then, I would just make a decision. My characters did some interesting stuff that I wouldn't have ever thought of if not for the time constraint. You don't worry about editing or 'would she really do that?' Just write. And see where the character ends up. And, at the end of it all, if it sucks, well, I've only wasted a month now haven't I?

My struggle will be balancing writing at work and writing at home. I tend to use up all my creative juices at work and then come home tired, no longer wanting to stare at a computer screen. So, I have a plan.
Football.
I hate it. Brad loves it. When he's watching, I'll be writing. Sundays, Mondays, randomly recorded then watched on Wednesdays. If I see a pigskin, my fingers will be typing.
In the mornings I tend to get to work early. This is when I read blogs and occasionally write my own. But in November, I'll be writing. So if you don't 'see' me, you'll know why. And if you do, I probably need a kick in the pants.
I plan on writing some posts in October and scheduling them for November so my blog won't be empty. I'll also do periodic updates on the book.

So, this is the point when I try to play pied piper and convince you all to come along with me.

"It'll be fun!"

"Sleep is overrated!"

"All the cool kids have calluses from typing!"

"Taking on more than you can handle is practically the American dream! (Why do you hate America?)"

(And then I'd try some reverse psychology) 

"You probably couldn't finish anyway."

Here, there and everywhere

I'm sure I mentioned this before, but thanks again to everyone who read my first chapter and gave me feedback!  I really appreciate it.  I'm plugging along, managing about a page a day (on the days I write during lunch).  I take my computer home with me every night and think really, really hard about writing.  But don't.  

Which has happened before.  Um, like the last TWO times I tried to write a book.  But this time is different.  I have a very clear picture in my head of where this book is going.  I've overcome some of the stumbling blocks of writing a book based on people I know by working on something that is truly fiction.  And I have an outline and a direction!

And thanks to you guys, I think I have a more interesting sub-plot.  

As I mentioned before, I plan on alternating chapters (odd chapters taking place in the present, even in the past), I am working on chapter 3 right now.  I've decided to skip the even chapters for a while.  I think those may be a tiny bit more drawn from my real experiences and I'm not quite ready to take that trip down memory lane, if you know what I mean.  So, I will save those for later.

I expect this process to be a potentially cathartic one, and I look forward to it while at the same time, I dread it.  

Once I get Ch 3 done, I will post it as well.  

On a random fun note, one of my co-workers was on Wheel of Fortune last night and won like 21K!  It was pretty exciting to watch.  She made it to the final round, but wasn't able to solve: 

L I _ _ I _

S _ _ _

Which was Liquid Soap.  And it cost her $100,000! Oh my gosh!  I just can't imagine how that much money could change your life.  

I'm out of worthy ammunition for Cake Friday, but I have a friends wedding cake at the end of this month and I'm really excited about it.  

This cake is the inspiration.  I found it here, via Cakewrecks on Twitter!  There will be a few differences, I don't plan on any horses, mostly birds, leaves, branches and flowers.  I'm not certain the process used on this cake, but I plan on wrapping mine completely in red fondant, then another layer of white fondant and using an exacto to reveal the red.  

Or at least that's the plan.  I need to practice this weekend to make sure that's the best method.  The alternative is to cover it with white then add the red pieces on top, 'gluing' them on.  The only reason I think that may not work is that so many of these details are very delicate and I don't think they would stick well.

Also, her bead border between the layers will be a light seafoamy blue color.  Very cool color combo.  

If I manage a test run, I'll get it posted here for you all to check out.

Brutal Honesty

Yesterday I was talking to myself [yes, I know this sounds kind of odd]- actually, it was more of a thought conversation.  [that doesn't sound any better!] 

Anyway, I was thinking about hidden talents.  I have always wanted to sing.  But, I suck.  Absolutely awful.  Like, if I accidentally hear myself, I turn up the radio louder.  While thinking that, I {to myself} said, "I always wished I was a good singer, but I know that I'm not."  Except, in my head, I said "writer," as in "I always wished i was a good writer, but I know that I'm not."

Which made me stop.  Talk about a Freudian slip!  I mean, tell me what you're really thinking!  Of course, I have always tried to keep everything in check.  I never wanted to be that person who thought they were God's gift to anything.  I always pulled it back.  Yes, I thought I was good at 'X,' but, I never wanted to assume I was the best.  And somewhere along the way, I found myself doubting myself.  

See, my mom always had problems with people.  She lost friends (and it was always their fault), she had problems at work (and it was always their fault) and well, I'm not even going to touch on her string of husbands (yes, plural, and well, let me put it this way, this marriage better work, cause she can only try one more time in the state we live it!)  But it was NEVER her fault.  Two out of 3 of her children wont speak to her, and she refuses to take any blame for that either.

Because of her over-the-top attitude of superiority, I tend to immediately assume that, 'it is me.' or that I'm probably not good enough.  Out of a fear of becoming her.  Which, I know is a far off fear, but it's still there.  Lurking.

So, anyway, long -LONG- story short, tomorrow I will post what should be the first chapter of my book.  The working title is "Falling Backward." 

It is a fiction book, based on some portions of my life.  It opens on present day and each chapter flips between present and the past.  Each chapter from the past highlights a critical point in the mother/daughter relationship.  

I am in no way fishing for compliments.  I don't want fluffy, "Soo good" (with more 'o's than necessary) or anything like that.  I want to know if:

-You want to continue reading.

-If you think it's too short for a first chapter.

-If I reveal the problem too soon.

-If you don't like it, tell me why.  What should I change?

lack of motivation

I want to write a book. I actually started writing it. Three years ago. I'm still only on the ninth page of a book [well, two books] that is to cover almost seven years. It might need a little more work. And as usual, I can not bring myself to work on it. I should. I find different reasons not to. Primarily the "I don't have time" exuse is quite high on my list, followed closely by the "I can't think of a fake name to replace real names" in my semi-true, based on my personal experiences in retail story. And of course there will always be the "don't want to dig up those past demons that are so interlaced with the experiences in the story" arguement.
How does one take a true story and pick apart the portions that one wants to tell while ignoring the ones that you dont want to share when one relies heavily on the other? How do you relive the painful parts of your life, while currently dealing with new painful experiences? I believe that if I am happy, maybe I can look back and see those event as what they are, growing pains. But if I am not in the place I want to me, looking back only reminds me of my failures, past and present.
Above all, for all my grandiose facide, I don't think very highly of my abilities. I know I have a book in me, yerning to fall like rain onto the pages of a novel. I wrote my first story in first grade. Attempted my first book at age 12 (a childs guide to coping with your parents divorce), my second at age 15 (a horror story from the view point of a divorced mom - which is still 5 pages further than I have gotten on the current book), and now this one.