6.27.2011

Alot

Do you read Hyperbole and a Half? Have you? You should. But not right now, if you left my blog right now to go read hers, you would never come back. Because her blog rocks.
For instance, she wrote this post about the phrase 'a lot' and how people tend to stick it together as 'alot.' So she created a creature called the Alot.
I've been pretty busy lately. Well, busy and not busy. I think half the time when I'm not actually doing anything, I'm worrying about stuff I should be doing or what I will be doing eventually. My brain, I can't turn it off.
So, with that in mind, paired with the Alot, I've begun to visualize this Alot monster following me around. So far, the only place I've been able to escape him is in the shower. But, I feel like he stands out there, tapping his foot, waiting on me to finish. He even whistles a little tune while he's waiting. He's extremely patient like that.
At night, when I'm trying to sleep, he sits on my chest. That little bastard is heavy. During the day, he plays with the pups. I think he's the one who has them convinced they can have as many treats as they want. He's also really good at convincing me I don't have to do my dishes. Brad does not like this. Not at all.
But, in all honestly, I think I like having the Alot monster around. If it weren't for him, I would veg out in front of the television all day. And frankly, that just sounds boring. So, Mr. Alot monster and I are stuck together. For now at least. And, at the moment, he's taking me on a lovely tour of grease interceptors (AKA grease trap). I am at this very moment hyperventilating into a paper bag over how much these bastards cost. How much? Too much. So much so that the first thing I want to do after purchasing one is dumping an entire container of crisco down the drain. And not the regular container, the big 8 pounder I bought at Sams earlier. But I wont. Because as a proud owner of a grease trap, I have to have it inspected and cleaned and junk like that.