Anyone looking for a roommate?

We've done this dance time and time again.  Except, now I'm on her turf.  The MIL moved back with us - but to her house on Friday.  It's barely Sunday morning, and I've already found myself face down on the bed with my fingers plugged into my ears praying that something will drown out her voice.  Thankfully, it's my husband with the vacuum.  Except, her turns it off and asks, "Why do you always get like this?"  Me?  Really?  He's mad at me?  Not his mom, who has already complained about the fact that we dont let her feed OUR dogs people food.  Or the fact that irony is completely lost on this lady, and she spent the morning complaining that one of BIL's friends is over at his house constantly - which bothers her, the visitor.  Or the fact that she complained about there not being any hot water, loudly pointing out that I am taking a long shower- which, I wasn't.  Husband want's to get upset about the "vacation comment" I made.  Oh.  He says it was mean.  OK.  So, BIL and SIL (BIL's wife) are on vacation, effective Friday, hence her visit with us.  MIL asks if we are planning on vacationing this year.  Husband answers "No, we are building a house."  True.  I say, well, we can only vacation when BIL does.  (Because my husband manages his brother's dental office) And that we can't go because the office isn't closed.  She says, well, I thought he would close the office when he left.  So, I say, that doesn't even matter, because if he is gone, we have to be here to watch after you.  And since Husband can't be gone, we really can't vacation.  Oh, and the whole house thing.  I continue reading the Sunday paper.  Apparently that was one of those things I wasn't supposed to say.  Like the time MIL was upset that a nurse was out sick and nobody was at the doctors office to do something she needed.  At the same time, MIL was (obviously) sick, and unavailable to do something at her job, but she was the only one who knew how to do it and she was all, 'tough.'  And so, I had to point out that, isn't it funny that your sick and stuff is going undone at your work, but this other lady is also sick and you can't get done what you need from her?  And she cried.
That's usually what happens.  I say what's in my head, and she cries.  And husband ignores the crying, but points out to me that I made her cry.  
I want to get an apartment.

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