What direction are the returns?

I have been thinking about my mom a bit lately.  We don't speak.  Haven't for almost two years.  I guess I have been thinking about her because of my grandmother.  She says I need to let it go, but I can't.  Or better, I don't want to.
Two years ago Christmas, my younger sister came to visit me (after I up and quit my job in retail).  She lived (and still lives) with her dad.  He scheduled her trip for three weeks, and my husband kinda freaked a little at the thought of having a visitor for that long, so I called my mom and asked if she would keep youngest sister for a week while she was visiting.  I was told [not-so-politely] that I was the one who had quit her job, and since I wasn't working, I could watch younger sister.  
Now I should probably mention that my youngest sister is special.  She graduated from high school, but doesn't have an actual diploma.  She took a combination of regular and special education courses.  Youngest sister is very sweet, but lives in her own world sometimes.  It's nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.
So, after extremely rude response from mom, I kept youngest sister with me the full three weeks.  It was fine.  She watched TV laying on the floor upside down sometimes, but other than that and the occasional discussion on the importance of wearing only ONE necklace and TWO rings at a time (she really loves jewelry and would give any gangsta a run for his money regarding bling) it was a good visit.  
Christmas day we went to my grandmothers, where my mom proceeded to pile all the gifts we (me, younger sister and youngest sister) had brought her and put them in the car without opening.  She wanted us to go to her house to exchange gifts.  I wanted the day to be over.  So, I refused to go.  Youngest sister asked if we were going, and I dodged the question.  She came back saying that "Mom said she would give my gifts to other sister, but that she wouldn't give her yours."  Awesome, now she's trying to bribe me with gifts.  That was a no go.  I refused to budge.  Haven't spoken to her since.
I know, you may think that was too harsh.  Silly.  Maybe.  But, at the persistence of my grandmother, I have been thinking about my mom a lot.  And I still feel strongly about my decision.  So, below is the list of things my mother has done to me that I will never forget, and never forgive.  Some are silly and some are down right awful.
1) In third grade, our class was ordering pizza for a party.  My mom was a class mom (she could be at the party and would bring stuff).  She wanted hamburger pizza, so when the class had almost decided on all cheese and pepperoni, my mom made me stand up and say that I was allergic to pepperoni.  So that she could have what she wanted.  And then I couldn't eat pepperoni around any of my classmates.  OK, the not eating pepperoni part wasn't that bad, it was the fact that she made me lie to everyone.  It was humiliating. 
2)  I didn't have a car for a while (partially my fault, partially hers), I had a co-worker drive me to her work when it was time for her to leave- because my mom wouldn't drive the 5 miles up the road because it was 'too trafficy.'  So, I would have my co-worker drive me to her.  One day, we took a little longer to get there, and she left.  So, my co-worker had to drive me the 45 miles home.  Who does that?  She knew I was coming, and she left anyway.  
3) I took 5 years to graduate college, my scholarship ran out in 4.  No big deal, I would just join the ranks of everyone else and get a student loan.  Except, I was under 23 years old and unmarried.  In the eyes of the school, I was still a dependent.  So, I asked my mom to help me get the loan (which meant she had to provide her tax information and that's it).  The loan would be in my name, my responsibility only.  She refused.  I begged.  She still refused.  I told her she could send it in without giving it to me - I wouldn't have to know what she makes.  She still said no.  I petitioned the board, declaring myself not dependent on her, providing all of my rent and bills.  They refused.  I finally got information from my father, despite him not even being my legal guardian, and it was all accepted.
I could continue.  But it's bumming me out that I got so shafted in the mom department.

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