In need of change

I get strange sometimes.  And I need change.  I thrive on it.  I think that when my life get chaotic, being in charge of the change helps me feel like I have some say in what is going on.  Even if the only thing I can control is the length of my hair or the color of my blog background.  So, I change.  And since I recently got my hair cut and colored, I don't want to mess with that right now.  But usually, that's where I run.  To the hairdresser.  I once had an altercation with a customer when I worked at the mall and I was in tears, sobbing.  I went straight down the corridor and chopped off two inches.  It's how I cope.  I'm lucky I'm not bald right now!
Right now, I'm working on different ways to cope.  I got upset after the whole "build her a house" thing last weekend, so I went for a walk and recited "Give me the strength to change the things I can, and to accept the things I can't." Which I'm pretty sure isn't exactly how that goes, but it calmed me down.
I remember getting an assignment in college to write an essay.  And I felt that the assignment didn't make sense.  So, Instead of doing the actual assignment, I wrote how I thought it didn't make sense and why.  My professor wrote, "In the words of Shakespeare, 'Me think she doth protest too much.'"  That always stuck with me.  I have never been a go-with-the-flow kind of person.  I speak up when I think something is wrong.  I point out when things are done incorrectly.  And I question everything.
It can make me difficult to be around sometimes, I know this.  But, I also know it makes me fiercely protective of my friends. And I hope they can see that in me.  
Anyway, that all kind of came out of nowhere.  Thanks for the comments on the book.  I've got some work to do, and I think that I'm changing some major plot points.  I was debating leaning in that direction, and now I am definitely going to make the change.  I'll try to get a second chapter up soon.


  1. I have been thinking of your post from yesterday. I didn't comment, because I was thinking of emailing you about it.. that cool?

  2. Oh seriously. Everyone thinks I am crazy at times because I do the same thing with my hair. It is how I do change. I want change and my hair is the easiest thing to accomplish that. I really need to learn other ways of coping too. Just today I was thinking about what I need to change so of course I was about to call my stylist for a color.