It's just a number

Age.  It's just a number.  And yet a great amount is attributed to it.  But it seems so silly.  As if a magical thing happens when you turn 18 and have all the wisdom of the world bestowed upon you and you suddenly have logical thought and can choose a president.  Or when you turn 21 that light switches on and you think, 'This drinking thing is a big responsibility, I now understand moderation.'
While I think those moments of enlightenment do occur, I am highly suspect to their coinciding with candles on a cake.
Personally, I find it a challenge I face daily at work.  And by face, I mean I literally face it.  My face is the problem.

Those big cheeks will be the death of me yet.  And by 'me,' I mean my career.

Just look at them!  They do not belong on the face of a 29 year old.

I cut my hair short to try to look more 'professional.'  It doesn't help.  OK, I admit, the blonde highlights are totally my fault.

My problem is that people see me and attribute an incorrect age, based on my looks.  Sometimes they treat me as though I am inexperienced.  Not because of my actions, but because of their perceptions.  And I admit, sometimes those people are nicer to me than they should be given the circumstances, but in their minds, "She's just a kid and doesn't know any better." Which just makes it worse.  I'm never held accountable when I should be.  Or I myself hold me accountable but the other person does not.  Or worse, I start believing what they say and lose faith in myself.

And of course, to me the really frustrating part is that I don't even feel 29.  I feel much, much older.  And probably not in a good way.  I feel like I have raised children (my sisters) and gone through a divorce (my mothers) and I was barely a teen when all that happened.  At that rate I should be 50 or 60 by now! [OK, maybe not 60, but definitely deep in my 30's]  Regardless, when someone who is only ten years my senior calls me 'kid' I have to say, it hurts.

With that in mind, I'm thinking 'makeover.' Bring on the tattoo lip liner.


  1. Should I even note the freakish similarities or is it just assumed at this point?

    I was excited to turn 30 because I felt like it gave me some "street cred" at work. I still get the "you kids don't understand" bit all the time... especially since my job involves telling people older than me how to use a computer... but there has been a certain confidence in my voice now that I can say "I'm 30"... I mean, if you're 50 or 60, 30 is not a big deal... but somehow they do seem to take things better when they realize I am not in my 20s. Of course, it's usually followed by "Oh, I thought you were like 23". That annoys me because it implies that I wouldn't know what I was doing if, in fact, I was 23... but whatever...

    I thought you vetoed tattoos for Saturday. Drat. I'll have to cancel the lip liner appointment!

  2. When I was 28, I visited a friend who was working in Boston. I was very early pregnant and so we decided to be mellow and go to a movie instead of out to the bars. I was asked for ID at a rated R movie...I mean I know I didn't have makeup on or anything but a full decade younger?

    I guess at least when we are 50 people will think we are late 30s. I mean it has to work that way right?

  3. I think you might be over analyzing this a little. My fiance feels the same way all the time. With her being one of the youngest in her PHD program she feels like a "kid" and does things (cutting her hair short, wear glasses, etc) to look older. I always tell her not to worry about it. In the end you are judged on your actions. And people that do make "she's just a kid" comments are the ones with the real problems most of the time.

  4. That is a good idea. I will come to Ark and we can tattoo up together. I need the bags under my eyes removed too. I think they make me look older. WHen is your 30th? I've got 3 months left!

  5. Well tattoo lip line WILL make you look older. :)

    I too agree. I do not feel like I should LOOK 29, and yet... I feel mentally somewhere around 40. Eek.

  6. Stopping by to say hi from Sara at Domestically challenged blog!
    I had this thought the other day actually, I'm turning 29 soon and getting close to 30 and while I've loved the get out of mess ups free card because of being younger or looking so at work, there is this change that I feel happening with getting towards 30 where I want a little more I don't know maybe responsibility? I was also thinking cause I feel so much older, my parents also had a divorce and I took care of my mom and myself for a bit, how old will I feel if I'm a mom one day and older? Its like I missed a step and I think that just happens with families that split for some reason, there is always one person who takes on extra responsibility and so grows up alittle fast, and so feels older than they are. I don't exactly know what it is but its some kind of grown up change that I feel I want to happen and will happen when 30happens. Maybe this happens to everyone at this time in their lives, maybe its also a light going on that says - you are now a grown up and the ticking biological clock is starting? Great blog! I'm off to follow:)