Trophy Wife

A few nights ago, Brad and I were having a discussion about what each of us brings to our marriage.  Naturally, I bring the gift of delicious foods.  Whether in the form of from-scratch pasta sauce or some chocolate-dipped dessert concoction, my meals are almost always can't miss.
Brad pointed out that he does the laundry.  (I sometimes start the washer, but never remember to put it in the dryer.  And if by chance I get the clothes in the dryer, they stay there until I realize I'm out of undies.)
He also does the dishes.  (I tend to run a fair amount of water into a dish once I place it in the sink.)
He also dusts. (I gave up long ago after hearing, 'You're doing it wrong.' no less than one million times)
Brad also takes it upon himself to sweep and mop the great room floor (Again, I do it 'wrong.')
I like to pledge the table.  I also tend to pay the bills.  This does not mean Brad doesn't, I just usually do it first.  And, I am organized.  To a ridiculous level.  So while he is busy scrubbing the shower and windexing the windows, I am sorting, stacking, filing and putting things where they belong.
This imbalance in chores came about while I was working on my MBA.  I would work all day, sometimes in the evenings, and at night, I was either in class or studying for the next nights class.  I was never home.  Brad HAD to do the cleaning.  I would rush in and whip up dinner, we would eat and crash. Repeat the next day.
But, I finished school in 2006.  And somehow, it just stayed that way.
So as we were talking, Brad realized he was getting the shaft.  And demanded it be fixed.  Faced with a lifetime of dusting, polishing and dishwashing scared me.
It was time to pull out the big guns.
"Well," I began, hands triumphantly placed on hips, "I may be passive about my cleaning habits, but there's something else I'm passive with too."
Intrigued, he looked at me, "And what would that be?"
Smugly I reply, "My TV watching.  I don't make you watch girly movies or Sex and the City or any other girly show, and I can't even name any more because I don't know what they are!"
See, if there's one thing you haven't figured out about my husband is that the TV is his life.  A news story reported that the average American watches 31 hours of TV a week.  Brad declared he is pulling up that average. 
He paused for a second, thinking, trying to make what I just said not nearly as awesome as he knows it is. "Dammit, you're right!"
And just like that.  No more dusting for Kelli.


  1. Nice work!

    You are so so so lucky to have one that realizes the place needs cleaned and does it well. Nick tries, he really does, but I always have to mention what it is that needs done and about 1/2 the time, I have to do the parts he missed.

    I'm trying to think of how it evens out...I guess that if we want ice cream at 8 p.m., he'll run out and get it. Probably the easier end of the bargain but eh, it all gets done I suppose.

  2. The balance of chores at our house is almost exactly the same as yours. (Especially our laundry-doing methods!) However, I also have the TV obsession on my side. Please don't tell David that he's getting the shaft! :-) Otherwise, I have to play the "I work more hours than you, travel for work, etc. and, you know, I've got the lupus" card. I try to save that for extreme cases. It's valid - but slightly unfair. To make up for it, I do hide out at the computer from time to time (like now) so he can watch some dumb movie he's already seen. And I don't say much when he buys hundreds of DVDs. Or frequently breaks things. I figure it all comes out in the wash... and he should know, since he's the one who does it!

  3. Yes, that does totally balance it out. I agree totally. In fact? Might even put him on toilet cleaning duty too!