The bees.

When I started this blog, in December of 2007, I wasn't sure what it was or what it would become. I even blogged under a fake name and gave fake names to everyone around me. Cryptic codes and silly fakeness, just because I was trying to protect myself and those around me. 

It started as a diary. Just a place to sort out my thoughts. I find that the more I talk about something the more I work through the problem until finally, I'm OK with it. Plus, I like hearing other's opinions. And the more I wrote, I began to find people who related and people who commented and helped me work through those problems. 

So finally one day, I opened up and told the truth, I wanted more out of my blog. I wanted it to be a place I could share the real me. The stuff that would be glaringly obvious about myself to the people who knew me and read my blog (And yes, there were a few). So, I posted my real picture and real name. 

And completely 'owned' my blog. And I liked it. That step in itself was cathartic. 

But, I still wanted to talk about the things that were bothering me. Whether that be my family, things from my past or even work. 

But once you open that door, it's really difficult to close it. Impossible actually. 

And what happens when someone you don't expect walks through that open door? 

It can lead to hurt feelings on all sides. 

The object of the posts feels as if they are being 'bad mouthed' to the public. While the blogger feels as if their privacy has been invaded. Except, it's not really 'private,' is it? It's out there for all the world to read. Everyone, except, you know, that one person. 

How do you have walls for some people and none for others? Why is it OK for me to bare my soul for complete strangers from other states, but not be able to talk to the person I am writing about? 

And why am I so upset that this person tracked me down on the internet and found my virtual self then got upset with what they found? They went looking for the proverbial bee's nest then cried when they got stung. 

What were you expecting? 

What was I expecting? 

I feel a bit odd right now, writing this post to two completely different audiences. If I were my client, I would say to myself that you should do two ads, you can't adequately address both issues in one spot. Well, I'm not constrained by time limits, space or a creative brief, simply the attention span of you, the reader. So I will continue to ramble, and say, if you read something and don't feel it applies to you, then it probably doesn't. 

I know a few of you have had internet/family/friend/drama problems in the past. From sisters demanding posts be removed to overly-attentive family members posting their 2 cents on every single status update! And I want to know, how do you deal with it? How do you draw the line? Also, have you ever read something about yourself that upset you, how did you deal? 

A blog can be a very cathartic thing. I place to think things out, to hear what others have to say, and to find that one (or 5 other people) out there that totally get the way you think. And I love it. I'm not giving it up. And as the major source of my problems has changed, I don't plan on having to address this in the future. But if you find yourself here, reading something that upsets you, just know that my writing comes from a place that wants to heal and grow and nurture, not tear down and cause hurt feelings. But, if you find yourself stung, maybe you should learn and just keep away from the bees.