Where I pretend to be insanely happy

There comes a point when you're no longer excited about things. I no longer feel like picking out crap or giving a rats butt about how adorable everything will turn out. Right now, I just want to whine and wallow in my own self pity.
Which is totes lame. (And I use the word 'totes' in a very sarcastic almost 'hipster ironic way' meaning that I kind of like it but think I'm too cool to really like it so I pretend I do it ironically. That's what the hipsters are doing, right? Anyway.)
So I'm going to force myself to be happy and chipper and pretend like everything is fine. It's fine. Really.

OK, really, I have all my limbs and health and health insurance (which Brad now pays for and he likes to remind me how expensive it is.) Regardless, honestly, really really honestly, things are not that bad. They just feel like they are. It's that temporary moment I will look back at on and think 'oh my god you were being such a baby!' but right now, in the moment I just want to fling myself on the bed. Which I did last night. But not completely out of despair, but because I stressed myself into a migraine and was forced to lay there with a wet towel on my head while Brad ate a sandwich because I couldn't muster standing in front of the stove.
But happiness!
Yes, it's there.
I finally got to see the Weddings In Arkansas fall/winter issue. Its both good and bad. Bad in that the actual print issue does have a photo of my cake, but does not list me as the baker or give any contact info whatsoever. Good in that the digital issue does, as well as has not one picture, but two pictures of my cake.

Gorgeous, right? I know, they did an amazing job! I snagged this photo from the digital issue of Weddings In Arkansas, photo credit goes to the awesome Nancy Nolan. (Who taught my friend Kyle a lot about photography)

I kind of hope that since the digital issue is free, people will check there and see my cake plus know how to get in touch with me. See the whole issue here)

The bakery is coming along. The guys are working but since we've had such delays getting to this point, I'm having a hard time being excited. I just need to be open. Yesterday I was hit with the possibility that I might not be open before Christmas and that scared the crap out of me. While they think it should be another week or two, I'm afraid of delays. Inevitable delays.

But, regardless, I have drywall up and they just need to mud and tape so we can come in and paint. I'll go pick up my paint later today at Sherwin Williams. I'm working on potentially a HUGE order. If I get it, it would mean a week of no sleep, but huge exposure as well as some seriously needed start up cash. (more on that later)

Originally, I had anticipated opening today. OK, I wanted to open back in September, but that is neither  here nor there. I talked to another woman who just opened a bakery and she had the same problems. She was supposed to be in hers back in August. She just opened last Tuesday. So, I guess it's not just me.

I have been baking like crazy. Far too many cakes to post everything. But I did get to do a super fun cake for an adorable little 3 year old and I loved it. This is the kind of cake I want to be making all of the time. Tons of details, lots of different techniques and it just looked like a show piece when it was finished. The party was an Alice in Wonderland theme.

That's been my past week. I'm going to plaster on a smile and pretend like this whole starting a business thing isn't absolutely killing me.