I don't know what it is about the passing of time that makes us stop and reflect. Nothing special has happened, per se, yet I can't help but feel the need to write about it.
Almost a year ago, I was another person completely. A person upset with the direction her life was going. A person who cried almost daily because of the stress related to her job. And then, suddenly, I was a person without a job.
I had been talking to a co-worker about how to approach my boss, how to come to an understanding, how to make things work, when my desk phone rang. I was called to a conference room where I was told my services there were no longer needed. While the reasons I was let go were 'business,' they felt like thousands of personal needles stabbing my soul. For the first time in my life, I managed not to cry when it was the only thing I wanted to do.
I was escorted to the elevator and asked to leave, my purse was brought to me. From that moment, time slowed down, I texted a friend, a now former co-worker. As I rounded the building, I could see her through the large downstairs, her stricken face looked up from her phone, just long enough to catch my eye as I passed.
I called Brad and said the words I had never spoken before, "I just got fired."
I can't believe it's been a year.
As with so many things, time plays tricks on us. It's felt longer. Probably because of all that I've managed to accomplish. And at the same time, it's gone by in a blink.
I knew the day was coming, I could feel it in my bones. And while I know technically, it means nothing, I feel like it means everything.
Friday was that day. I knew it had the potential to suck, I think the universe knows that day has its eye on me. So I tried hard to make it a good day.
The universe was having none of that.
I had stayed up late decorating cookies, when I got to the bakery (at 6!) I threw them into bags, waiting to tie up the ribbon later. Around 9, I found that the icing on the cookies chose not to set and were oozing in the bags.
I started over. Nothing like re-baking and redecorating 40 cookies to start your day off on the right foot.
Eventually, the day got better. Where a wedding cake I was delivering fell over in the back of my car.
I love it when that happens. Thankfully, no serious damage was done [outside of some squished icing] and I was able to put it back together.
Part of me wants to vow that next year on May 18, I will just stay in bed. There will be no wedding cakes, no cookies, no customers, no anything. But I'm not one to let the day win. Instead, I will tell May 18 where to go and how to get there. I will bravely let it beat me up and will continue living my life.
Because, really, that's all we can do.