In my head: Good and Bad

Beating yourself up is easy. I am the queen of pointing out my flaws and shaking my head. But sometimes I have to stop and force myself to see the good. To acknowledge my own hard work. And really? This has been an amazing month.
Spectacular even.
And I've barely even noticed because I've been focused on so many other things.

We started off July in Mexico. Where I did not have fun. Because instead of noticing the beach, I was bemoaning the rain.


 Seriously, I was so stressed and crazed. I ended up on stage trying to be hypnotized. I'm neither here nor there on hypnotism. OK, fine, I kinda think it's hog wash, but I thought maybe it would calm me down. I went up there hoping that it would work.
No such luck. I ended up being the first person escorted off the stage because I started snickering.
I will say that while up there, I felt very relaxed and at one point he said there was a fly on my nose and to swat it. I felt my nose tingle but I really didn't want to swat the fly. So I didn't.  Brad video taped it and was all, 'Why did you go up there? You weren't doing any of the stuff like everyone else.'
Anyway. Vacation= kinda sucked.
Mostly because I was so caught up in my own head.
But I did meet another bakery owner (from Dallas) and we had a mutual acquaintance so that was really cool. And I got to talk shop with someone from a different market and not bug Brad with bakery talk.
Once I got back, I got a call from Square. You know, Square? The company that helps small businesses accept credit cards with low rates and started by the same guy that invented Twitter? Yeah, they called to tell me that the contest I entered? Well, we won!
They rolled out a new product called Square Stand and it's basically a POS system that works with your iPad. The contest was "We Stand For" and you had to post a photo or video with the hashtag #westandfor and what your business stands for. I posted this photo of Lauren:

And well, out of 40 states and several hundred entries, they picked 5 winners and our photo was one of them. I don't know that I've ever won anything like this before.

Then there's the whole SOUTHERN LIVING THING. Yes, it's just a tiny mention in a one page article about Little Rock, but there I am. My name. My bakery. IN SOUTHERN LIVING. This is big time, yo.

Not to mention currently I have a recipe/photos in At Home in Arkansas. A wedding cake in
Arkansas Bride and a photo/mention of my French macarons in Arkansas Life. PLUS the German mag coming out the end of August.

So why can't I enjoy any of this? Why can't I stop for just a moment and pat myself on the back? (I mean, I guess, technically, that's what I'm doing now, but still) I can't. I want to focus on the one crazy bride who got mad because I canceled her tasting because I had three weddings that weekend and pretty much my entire staff was out of town and I had worked 70 hours that week and I just couldn't squeeze it in like I had originally thought. And when is her wedding you ask? Why, next June. Yes, she's the one overreacting and yet I still feel like I could have done more. I hate disappointing people. Even the ones who are being ridiculous.
So this is me saying 'holy crap this has been an amazing month, even if I didn't enjoy it.'