Whiney McWhinerson

I'm probably in the minority when it comes to this, but I like to whine. Like I get some kind of perverse joy out of bemoaning my privileged existence. I was discussing the other day how I tend to default to slightly unhappy. Say if there's a scale from negative five to positive five where zero is neutral -neither happy nor sad, I'm typically a negative one or a zero. I'm not walking around with a storm cloud over my head but there's probably a hint of a scowl. Lauren (one of my long-time employees and friends) defaults to at least a positive three. At least. While Brad is usually a positive one or two. It's good to have them around to balance me out.
The problem with all of this is that in addition to being sorta-kinda sad, I'm also sorta-kinda melodramatic. So if I say, stub my toe, that typically ranks higher on the annoyance factor than it does on the pain factor, I could potentially describe my toe as 'about to fall off' and limp around for an hour for emphasis. I will tell EVERYONE how mean my toe is and how that wall has had it in for me since the day it was drywalled.
I tend to find that kind of humor funny.
Brad does not.
But the biggest problem with this is that eventually I begin to believe my own hype. I really think that my toe very well could fall out. Or that my world is going to come crashing down around me if I have to wait on a customer for more than ten minutes.
I get super frustrated when I feel like I'm not in control of my life. And those feelings seem to strangle me often. I'm torn between wanting to do things and feeling obligated to do them. The minute obligation creeps in, I find myself angry that I have to do something, instead of wanting to do it.
This started when I was seven and told I had to clean my bedroom. I would attempt to convince you that I was 'just about to do that,' and that I 'totally wanted to get right on that,' up until the very moment that you said I had to. And then? I lost all interest and how dare you shackle me with such a task!
So, based on two articles I read today posted by facebook friends, 1. (and I'm paraphrasing here and refusing to actually reference the article lest you call me on my inability to interpret) Once you leave your 20s, that's pretty much who you're going to be, so I'm probably not leaving my whiney state any time soon. 2. We are raising a generation of inconsiderate whiney kids.
So, the moral of this story is, let's all be thankful I have decided not to breed.