5 things

There are five things I would love to say to my MIL, but never will.  Mostly because they are mean, and even at my angriest, I tend to hold my tongue.  Unless during that precise moment of murderous rage where my eye twitches slightly, my throat tightens and my words come out strained someone pushes a button, lays on a nerve or just says something plain stupid.  Then I explode.  And they usually wish they had never met me.  For all my smallness and general desire to make others happy, I can still make a grown person cry.

But I try not to.

#5.  The Sonic Dr. Pepper doesn't taste any different than the Dr. Pepper we bought you  yesterday that is chilling in the fridge.

She is CONVINCED that Sonic sodas taste different.  And maybe they do, slightly.  But not enough for me to get in my car at 9 p.m. and go get you one.  

#4.  Please stop parading around the house in your underwear.  

I know she is sick.  I know she is tired.  I know that getting dressed is a difficult task for her, and she gets tired and needs to stop her activities frequently.  But she stops after her shirt and prances into the kitchen, demanding a Sonic Dr. Pepper, asking if "this offends anyone."  And I can't very well say yes.  Because SIL does, and she hates her.

#3.  Please stop talking to my dogs like that.  And quit trying to feed them real food.

I am glad that husband and I don't want kids.  Because I am sure that she would want to feed them nothing but Sonic Dr. Pepper and Whoppers (malt balls not burgers).  She whines to the dogs and tells them that it's my fault they can't have any good food.  I know, I know, the dogs don't speak English.  So they don't understand her.  But they do lick the crumbs off her shirt, so now they REALLY know what we are doing at the dining room table.

#2. The cancer will not magically go away on its own.  

She has been ridiculously lucky with her recovery.  She has inoperable cancer that metastasized to her lungs, and the treatment has been making it better.  But every time it is time for a scan, she reverts to a four year old and claims, 'maybe it will all be gone this time.'  No, it wont.  And it wont be gone the time after that.  And then she cried.  Actually she cries a lot. 

#1.  Appreciate the people around you.  The ones who changed their entire lives for you.

My MIL has never been able to swallow pills, she claims nobody ever taught her.  Um, how do you swallow your food?  Do the same thing, but without chewing.  Done.  But, six months ago, a nurse showed her some trick, and now she can swallow pills.  She goes on and on about how this lady saved her life.  YES the nurse.  Not the doctor curing her cancer.  Not her two sons who rearranged their entire lives, at the possible detriment to their marriages.  Not her co-workers who have supported her and let her work as little hours as she can but still pay her a full salary.  Nope.  The Nurse.  She (again, 6 months after the fact) went off on a tangent about trying to make this lady 'employee of the month' at her job.  No acknowledgment to the sons for their efforts.  No, she loves the nurse.