Here's a shocker

My sister is pregnant.  I knew it was only a matter of time, because she told me that she was trying.  Actually, she told me that she was upset that she wasn't pregnant yet despite trying.
Now, considering how I felt when she told me that she was getting a second dog, I'm sure you know Im not elated that she's pregnant again.
First, she didn't actually tell me.  She simply updated her facebook status with, "name has a tadpole."  That and the one side of the conversation I could see her having clued me in on it.  I didn't say anything.  OK, I bemoaned her fate to my co-workers for two days, but said nothing to her.
But on Wednesday, (at her request) I stopped by her house.  I had a Christmas present I needed to deliver to her, and had planned on doing it Monday, but bad weather prevented it.  And when I discovered she was pregnant, I avoided it because I knew she would say something.  
So here is the conversation:
Her: "You're going to be an aunt again."
Me: "I know."
Her: "Facebook?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "It will either be name or name " (I can't remember the names, to be honest)
Me: "I don't know which of those is the boy name and which is the girl name.
She explains and adds middle names.
This is followed by about two minutes of silence. 
I change the subject.  Everything seems fine.  I leave shortly after.  I think everything is fine, until after work today, when I receive a text from her.  It begins, "You know, you really pissed me off yesterday.  The least you could have done is congratulate me."
I guess my problem is, I had already explained how I felt that she was not ready for a second child.  That financially, it wasn't a wise decision.  But she went ahead and got pregnant anyway.  So, I assumed that since I thought it was a bad idea (and she knew how I felt) but didn't repeat my opinion, that we had an unspoken decision to 'agree to disagree.'
The way I see it, since I disagree with her about having a child -but don't push the issue, she should accept that I wont bother her about it, but wont be happy for her either.
Does that make sense?  I thought it did.
Apparently, I was wrong!  So, now she is really, really mad at me.  And I want (with every inch of my being) to tell her what I really think.  Which, would result in us NEVER speaking again.
I don't understand.  Here are the facts:
1) She tells me she wants baby.
2) I tell her that's a bad idea.
3) She gets pregnant.
4) I still think it's a bad idea. (But don't say so)
5) She expects me to be happy for her.
6) She gets mad when I'm not.
7) I'm shocked that she's mad.

Why? Why would I be happy? Because when my sister FINALLY gets her life to a point where she might be able to fix it, she decides to go and screw it up again?*

*I don't think having a baby ruins lives.  I think having a baby when you have no savings/are in debt (with credit cards and relatives)/just got one child into school/just got back together with your ex-husband/started a job that is "temporary" with little chance to become "permanent"/and have no education to help you out is a bad idea.


  1. Eek. Ok. Yeah. If I found out my sister was preggers from facebook... there'd be hell to pay.

    This sucks.

  2. If everyone waited for the right time to have a baby, a) half of us wouldn't be here and b) there might be a lot less problems in the world. But that also means that you and I might not be here, too. Consider - 100 or 200 years ago, one of our ancestors might have had a baby or two at the "wrong time."

    : )