Once upon a time, I was a manager. Well, OK, an assistant manager. And I worked hard. And because of this, my workers worked hard. And I was liked. I never asked them to do anything I wouldn't do myself. I tried to be understanding and unbiased with my decisions. I didn't yell, that was useless. And occasionally, I was known to employ a few guilt tactics.
I like to think that was the worst I ever did.
I have to say I am a born leader. Not because I'm cocky or arrogant, but because, I literally was born into it. Or, I guess you can say it was born a few years after me. Being the oldest of three came with a few perks, full-on rights to the front seat, ownership of 'I'm older than you,' so on and so on, but it also came with full-time responsibilities. Like keeping up with two smaller girls. Changing diapers, making meals, tying shoes and even teaching the alphabet.
But that was another time. Another life.
Now, I am the preverbal 'low man on the totem pole.' And that's OK, too. Because I also know when to follow. And I have little problem doing it. But sometimes, I just can't squelch that desire to be in charge. To step up and say, 'This is how we're going to do this.' But I try not to be bossy. (Something I've been battling since I was 5 apparently)
I try to find the balance. The place where someone who knows they're not in charge stands, but can still speak up and say, 'Can we try this?'
I try not to stomp off if I feel like I'm not being heard, but I have been accused of wearing my heart on my sleeve, so I'm not always successful. But I try.
Growing up is hard to do. I thought by the time I was 30 I would have everything figured out. Quite the opposite is true, I think I'm learning everything all over again, but different. Of course, I still have a few more months until 30, so maybe I can still make my goal. :)