3.15.2010

A story

Once upon a time, I was a manager. Well, OK, an assistant manager. And I worked hard. And because of this, my workers worked hard. And I was liked. I never asked them to do anything I wouldn't do myself. I tried to be understanding and unbiased with my decisions. I didn't yell, that was useless. And occasionally, I was known to employ a few guilt tactics.
I like to think that was the worst I ever did.
I have to say I am a born leader. Not because I'm cocky or arrogant, but because, I literally was born into it. Or, I guess you can say it was born a few years after me.  Being the oldest of three came with a few perks, full-on rights to the front seat, ownership of 'I'm older than you,' so on and so on, but it also came with full-time responsibilities. Like keeping up with two smaller girls. Changing diapers, making meals, tying shoes and even teaching the alphabet.
But that was another time. Another life.
Now, I am the preverbal 'low man on the totem pole.' And that's OK, too. Because I also know when to follow. And I have little problem doing it. But sometimes, I just can't squelch that desire to be in charge. To step up and say, 'This is how we're going to do this.' But I try not to be bossy. (Something I've been battling since I was 5 apparently)
I try to find the balance. The place where someone who knows they're not in charge stands, but can still speak up and say, 'Can we try this?'
I try not to stomp off if I feel like I'm not being heard, but I have been accused of wearing my heart on my sleeve, so I'm not always successful. But I try.
Growing up is hard to do. I thought by the time I was 30 I would have everything figured out. Quite the opposite is true, I think I'm learning everything all over again, but different. Of course, I still have a few more months until 30, so maybe I can still make my goal. :)

4 comments:

  1. I LOVE "I'm older than you!" I think it settles all debates, regardless of the topic. It's infallible. Plus, David is younger than me, so I STILL get to use it. Now that I think about it, you're younger than me too...

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  2. I love that one of the main perks you list is rights to the front seat. Awesome.

    There was a comedian who talked about growing up once. About how, when you're 20 you feel like you have it mostly figured out. But then you get to 30 and you thinking that when you were 20 you were clueless. The joke was that at some point we'll be in our 90's saying, "When I was 82, I didn't know squat!" Hey, I didn't say it was a GOOD joke.

    Anyway, I don't think that you ever really feel grown up or like you have it all figured out. You'll always be a work in progress, in one way or another.

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  3. If you get it all figured out, can you share the secret with me? I'm still waiting...

    But hey, advertising at its best is a great equalizer. Don't be afraid to speak up if you've got a better idea. They might not listen, but you'll feel better for having said it...

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  4. I love it when you rant! You are so close to me in your rants, that they make me laugh! And sympathize!

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