I miss writing, I do. I miss the feel of the keys beneath my fingers. I miss the way I would tap on the bar on the 'F' and 'J' buttons on the home row when I couldn't think of the right word. I miss going back over something and feeling the sense of pride of knowing I created that. That I had written that and chosen those words all by myself. I love what I get to do now. I love that I get to create ephemeral art in the form of baked goods. I like that despite being surrounded by pounds of butter and sugar, that my business clothes sag around my hips.
There was such a draw with advertising that I could touch many lives, that people saw my work and knew my ads. But let's be honest, if given the choice between eating cake or looking at a magazine ad, people would choose the cake. Every. Time.
It's a different kind of joy.
And it's a different kind of stress. Where once I grumbled about my boss and hated the rigors of the 8 to 5 life, I miss the security it provided in the form of a steady pay check and health insurance. But in it's place, I have a kind of freedom that most will never, ever know. The ability to be my own boss, to set my own rules, and to have the last say is something that I can't put a price on.
This year has been a crazy one, to say the least. I've been here before, but hopefully, never again. It wasn't as crazy as the last time I was unemployed for a year, but it was close. Instead of uncertainty over where my next paycheck was coming from, it's just been a matter of when.
As I type this, I'm noticing the paint splattered on my hand that I totally missed in the shower. In the past week and a half, Brad and I have finally been able to get into the bakery to do our work. We laid wood floors in the lobby area, painted the walls a bright pink and orange, hung bead board and painted it white, laid tiles in the bathroom and have begun the enormous undertaking of scraping down the concrete floors in the back kitchen area. I should have a timeline for my opening soon. I should know after tomorrow the formal opening date and I'll pass that along.
While 2011 has left a sour taste in my mouth, it's a year that led me to the point I'm at today and for that, I'm thankful.
If what they say is true and the best things take the most time, this bakery will be an adventure that I will never forget. I hope the few of you who are here hang around to join me on it.
I hope 2012 brings joy to each of you.