I'm a liar

So, the last time I blogged, I swore that I wouldn't talk about the bakery anymore. Well, at least as much, anyway.
Yeah, I'm a liar. A big, fat, pants-on-fire-liar. But not because the bakery is SOOOOOOO awesome.
No, because I'm spending about sixty hours a week there and outside of showering, eating dinner and watching about one show per night, it's the only interesting thing in my life at the moment. (Unless you want to hear about the showering. You know what? Don't answer that.)
Since I can't really create any coherent thoughts right now, I'm putting together a list of funny things from my first three weeks (!) at the bakery:

  • Opening the door (because my air conditioning is broken) lets the 'yummy smell' out and lures people in. I may continue doing it even after the air is fixed. 
  • Also? Really? Air conditioning in February? I'm scared for July.
  • My hands are currently pink. Completely 100% pink. But the cake was super cute, so it was worth it. 
  • Somewhere in my brain I thought I was going to have time to just sit out at one of the bistro sets and write. (Try not to laugh too loudly at that one)
  • No matter how old your child is, you have had at least a minimum of one year (365 days) to order the cake. I mean, it's their BIRTHDAY- same day it was last year, the same as the year before. Please order your cake in a timely manner. :) 
  • In the book of "Stupid things I do" that I could write, there would be an entire chapter dedicated to "Burning myself on things that I know are hot, but touch anyway." Today, it was caramel. And it blistered. 
  • According to Brad (and my part time help Jon) sugar free Red Bull is not lunch. I tend to disagree. Whatev.
  • If I thought I was a messy person when I baked at home, having a 'designated' messy area AKA the bakery has made me way worse. Like waaaaaay worse. And? I have 1,500 square feet in which to strow about my mess. 
  • I do not want to speak ill of any competition, but I might have giggled inwardly when a little girl smiled and said, "Yeah! No more [insert name of another bakery type establishment]!"
  • Speaking of competition, I was scoped out by just about all of them. But everyone was super nice, and introduced themselves. But I had to laugh, they all tried the "We just love sweets! We will be in frequently! We're foodies!" I wanted to say, "Look, I know you're scoping me out. It's OK. I did it to you before I opened!" Because, lets be honestly, I love sweets and all, but I NEVER get dessert at a restaurant. What would I? I can make all this stuff at home. Either way, they were nice, so that was cool. 
  • Boxes are expensive. Especially my cute pink boxes. Packaging. Ugh. I mean, I thought about it and all, I guess I just didn't really think about it. Actually, up to a certain size box, it's not a huge deal, they're all about the same price, close to 20 cents. But when you get to a dozen, you add the dozen divider. So it's 40 cents. But the cupcakes are $27, so it's not a huge deal. BUT when you do a single cupcake and sell it for $2.50 and the box is 20 cents. Well, that's something entirely different. It makes me want to be ghetto and charge for the box. WHICH I WILL NEVER DO. This is small business, people. It all comes down to a 20 cent box. 
  • Speaking of boxes and random crap, I know who reads my blog because you guys spout random facts back at me that I forget I even wrote. So three months from now someone is going to be all, "You can keep your 20 cent box, I know it's going to break you." And I will laugh. And then squish their cupcake! (Fine, I won't squish the cupcake.)
So, yeah, after that last random tangent, I realize that it's after nine p.m., AKA my bedtime and I have officially used all of my available brain power today to make cupcakes and decorate cookies. So I bid you all a fond adieu.